But how come I don't feel new? A New Year is good in theory, out with the old, in with the new and that's a great thing. However I just don't feel new but don't get me wrong, I don't feel old either. I guess the New Year concept takes a while to sink in then by the time I get into it it's already halfway gone!
This brings me to the topic of age. I would be a liar if I said that I wasn't afraid of aging, in fact I'm really not keen on it at all. I had not expected to get to this age so fast, my daughter is starting high school this year for goodness sake, and that's scary enough! I don't feel my age, well maybe sometimes but I don't "think" my age... I know that the body doesn't take the punishment it used to and bounce back as quickly as it used to! I remember the good old days, work all day, drink every night then work all day and do it all over again, day after day. Those were the days. Nowadays, I might have a few drinks on a weekend at some event or at the pub, and then I get a lingering headache and other pains that seem to hang around for days on end.
But also when I was younger I seemed to get more sleep. Whatever happened to good old sleep? Sleep is now the enemy. The enemy you can't conquer even though you try everything to win it over, nothing works. It still escapes. I do attempt to get to bed at a good hour (well mostly) but despite my good efforts, I still can't seem to move when the alarm goes off. I blame it on aging. I never had that problem 20 years ago, and used to get by on 5 hours if that... But at least when I wanted to sleep, I could!
Then there is the issue of the effort involved in trying to look good. Of course, the older you get the harder this becomes. I remember just slapping on some eyeliner and lip gloss and out the door I went. These days there is a far more time consuming process involved. OK maybe it's just vanity, but I am female and we do think about these things. The hair is thinner and hardly there these days, but after all the perming, dying, chemical treatments etc. it's been put through in all these years, it's hardly surprising. So more effort involved with that too. Then the body of course is not as bouncy and firm as it used to be, but I am not a fitness freak. My exercise routine consists of walking in the mall. I suspect though that this may not be enough to keep gravity at bay...
And then there's the strange phenomenon of how people age so differently. When I see my old high school friends (no pun intended) from 30+ years ago, the variations in their aging processes is quite astounding. Some look exactly the same, with maybe an extra wrinkle here and there or a grey hair here and there. Some look like you would expect after 30 years, they've put on a little weight, look their age but still look like the same person. Then there are the ones that are total shockers. The ones that have aged really badly. I thank the Universe that I am not one of them.
It's like the rock stars you see from the 70's and 80's. You remember how they looked then. You see how they look now. Some look fine, or they look like you would expect. Others bring on an extreme cringe reaction and you question if they are actually the same person. And still others, look way better than they used to when they were younger. Go figure. Aging just sucks in general but I will say that for some people it is actually a good thing.
Of course with age, comes wisdom. And again, not in all cases. I know people my age who have not changed the way they live in all their lives and have not learned a single lesson. I don't understand that myself, after all we are here to learn lessons and grow from them and progress in life. It's sad that some people never do that. But I would like to think that I have and the people I surround myself with have as well. The older you get the smarter you should get, or at least, you should know better. Even if you don't really grow up except in the number of years that makes up your age, you can still be young at heart while having progressed within yourself to grow into the person you are proud to be today.
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